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The Daily Mail reports that a teen complained to his doctor that his penis was too big for him to play sports or have sex (not that teens should be having sex anyway, but that’s another matter for another post). It was seven inches long (which is great for him but not surgery-worthy) and ten inches in circumference (enough to make my butt spontaneously seal itself forever). His doctor described compared its shape to a football. You be the judge:

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One of the only penises to ever to have effectively self-circumcised itself?

Other things that various writers thought it looked like: a baked potato and a football player with a broad chest.

This is something I wondered as soon as I set eyes on that thing, so I was happy to see it answered by the Mail:

Though his penis was so large, it did not grow when he had erections – it merely became firmer.

His penis was once a relatively normal size, but became misshapen after several bouts of priapism. From that point on, he woke up like this. His doctor, Rafael Carrion, said he found no medical precedent for treatment, and ended up cutting through the teen’s circumcision scar to remove tissue on both sides. “A bit like having two side tummy-tucks,” is how the doctor described it.

Here is the after:

I feel better about my little guy now!!!

watcha gotta say?

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