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The internet is the only place where we simultaneously desire fame and anonymity.

Employers who tell workers “you’re lucky to have a job,” can only keep workers who can’t find a different one.

Amazon is basically Acme from Roadrunner

When you live in an apartment building you are relying on dozens of other people to not burn down your house.

In a sexual situation, both “you’re so good” and “you’re so bad” are perfectly valid compliments.

Your car keys travel more than your actual car.

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