Not So Clever, Cleaver-wielder

Matthew Davies, 47, of Dunfermline, Scotland, pled guilty on Friday, Jan. 17, to assault and robbery in the case of a bumbling Bank of Scotland holdup in September, the Daily Record reported. On that day, Davies charged into the bank with a meat cleaver in hand and a pillowcase over his head. Unfortunately, he had neglected to cut eyeholes in the pillowcase and therefore couldn’t see, so he quickly took it off after entering the bank and donning it. Undeterred, he used the meat cleaver to batter a glass partition on the counter and eventually took off with almost 2,000 British Pounds, casually wandering toward home, even stopping to pet a dog along the way. This casual get away allowed bank personnel to easily follow Davies to his home and alert the police; there, they found the cash, pillowcase and meat cleaver, along with a stun gun. He’ll be sentenced in February.

Not So Funny, Easter Bunny

Antoine McDonald, 21, of Altamonte Springs, Fla., became famous last year for dressing up as the Easter Bunny in Orlando, but he found his costume unhelpful on Thursday, Jan. 16, after ramming his motorcycle into a carport, which collapsed on a car parked there, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. The motorcycle then hit a fence and flipped over, and a neighbor observed the Easter Bunny limping from the scene. When officers caught up with McDonald, lying in the back seat of a car, he denied involvement in the crash: “I wasn’t in any crash. I’m the Orlando Easter Bunny! Google it,” he claimed. “The bunny was alive but apparently injured,” officers reported, according to the Orlando Sentinel, and they asked him to remove the costume before arresting him and transporting him to the hospital for rib and leg injuries sustained in the crash.

Not Very Green, Alexandre Garcin

In June 2019, the city of Roubaix, France, proudly announced it had installed 187 solar panels to generate electricity for the city’s library and paid a local company about $113,000 for the “green” equipment. But, during the installation of a wind turbine to supplement the clean energy effort in December, workers noticed the solar panels had never been connected to the library’s electrical network. Oddity Central reported the panels were intended to supply about a quarter of the library’s needed power, but “we realized this was not the case,” admitted Alexandre Garcin, the city’s deputy mayor, who did not elaborate on why it took six months to figure out the oversight.

What Else? It’s Elsa!

Houston mother Emily Madonia’s nightmare began in 2015, when the Elsa (from Frozen) doll her daughter received for Christmas 2013 began reciting lines from the movie in both English and Spanish; originally, it had only spoken English. Next, the doll began speaking and singing randomly, even when her on-off switch was in the “off” position. In December 2019, Madonia threw the doll out, Click2Houston reported, but her husband and she later found the doll in a bench inside their home. So, they double wrapped the doll in plastic bags and “put it in the bottom of our garbage can,” Madonia wrote on Facebook. Days later, her daughter found the doll again in the backyard. Finally, Madonia sent the doll to a friend who lives in Minnesota, where it (perhaps?) remains. In the meantime, Madonia has been contacted by paranormal investigators, as well as the Travel Channel.

Spotted in Halifax

Ben Lilly, 40, on his way to Halifax in West Yorkshire, England, on Saturday, Jan. 25, passed an object in the road that looked like a dead or injured animal: A leopard, to be specific. Lilly stopped and turned around, carefully approaching the large, motionless, spotted cat. He told Metro News his heart was racing, and he was afraid his face might be “ripped off” by the beast. “I saw the markings on it; it had a long tail on it, too,” Lilly said. “But, as soon as I looked at it from another angle, I started laughing.” It turned out to be a leopard-print jumpsuit, complete with tail. Lilly speculated on Facebook that it might be “someone’s outfit from last night. … It was Saturday morning, and Halifax is a bit of a drinking town.”