SATIRE POST OF THE DAY

Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record

 

In an inspiring story from the world of professional cycling, a motorcyclist who identifies as a bicyclist has crushed all the regular bicyclists, setting an unbelievable world record.

In a local qualifying race for the World Road Cycling League, the motorcyclist crushed the previous 100-mile record of 3 hours, 13 minutes with his amazing new score of well under an hour.

Professional motorcycle racer Judd E. Banner, the brave trans-vehicle rider, was allowed to race after he told league organizers he’s always felt like a bicyclist in a motorcyclist’s body.

“Look, my ride has handlebars, two wheels, and a seat,” he told reporters as he accepted a trophy for his incredible time trial. “Just because I’ve got a little extra hardware, such as an 1170-cc flat-twin engine with 110 horsepower, doesn’t mean I have any kind of inherent advantage here.”

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