SATIRE POST OF THE DAY: GETS ELECTED TO BE RE-ELECTED


Newly Elected Representative Pledges To Spend Every Minute Fighting To Get Reelected

Speaking before a group of loyal supporters who seriously believe an individual politician can really make a difference for their small town, a newly elected representative pledged that he would spend every minute fighting to get reelected.

Voice wavering, the candidate vowed, “I will be your mouthpiece, shaking the halls of Congress, boldly fighting for your most cherished ideal, which is that I continue to stay in office for years to come.” Raising a hand to calm the uproarious applause, he continued, “Trust me, no one knows the difficulties you face as a community in reelecting me more than I do, and that’s why I’m the man for the job.”

Speaking on anonymity after the rally, local man Victor Bulberson– who lives in the rusted-out AMC rambler behind the local post office– said, “You bet I’m voting for him. I feel he really understands what we value around here. He really gets us.”


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