SATIRE POST OF THE DAY: BIDEN GIVES THANKS

SATIRE POST OF THE DAY: BIDEN GIVES THANKS


Biden Thankful For Gas Crisis To Distract From Inflation Crisis, Unemployment Crisis, And Border Crisis

In the days following the Colonial Pipeline hack, gas stations have begun to run out of fuel, creating a panic for many. As for the President of the United States, this has come as a relief when considering all the other crises that have been nagging his presidency.

“Finally, a distraction!” said Biden letting out a sigh of relief. “It was either ‘inflation crisis’ this, or ‘unemployment crisis’ that, and I don’t even want to hear the words ‘border crisis’ again. I was like– would you just shut up man?!”

Biden explained that all of this negative coverage was starting to make him look bad. He said that things like his wild federal spending, paying people not to work, and soft border policies have nothing to do with the current state of the country. “Hopefully, a good old-fashioned gas price hike and shortage will finally give me a quieter news cycle.”


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TEXAS AG LOOKING FOR ANSWERS IN PLANO PROTEST AND LACK OF POLICE ENFORCEMENT

Texas AG Slams Police Department After Video Shows Officer Allegedly Allowing BLM to Block Traffic

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton announced an investigation after a video shot in Plano appeared to show a police officer allowing Black Lives Matter protesters and apparently armed Antifa-type agitators to block traffic before the officer reprimanded a driver who got out and confronted them.

“I instructed one of my top deputies to contact the Plano Police Chief to get more details. What he heard paints an even worse picture that the video alone depicts,” Paxton, a Republican, said in a statement on Monday.

The video went viral after OAN’s Jack Posobiec posted it via his Twitter account this week. It shows a man wearing a blue shirt telling the agitators to get out of the road before an officer tells him to get back away from the screaming protesters. He also is heard telling the officer, “Get these [expletive] people out of the way!”

Paxton’s statement asserted that Chief Ed Drain allegedly told the state attorney general’s office several different versions of what unfolded, including details about a weapon that an agitator was allegedly brandishing.

“First, the chief told my deputy that while the weapon drawn wasn’t a pistol, it was, in fact, a ‘pepper ball gun.’ In a separate conversation, the chief claimed it was a ‘Taser,'” the attorney general said. “In a recent Facebook post, the Department is now saying it was [an] ‘electronic control device.'”

He added, “Whatever it was, the police declined to pursue the leftist who brandished the weapon, and no charges are being pressed against him.”

Paxton then accused Drain of being “anxious to excuse the rioters” and said the chief allegedly told him that the police department has “to negotiate with these people.”


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POLICE CHIEF ARRESTED FOR SELLING GUNS AND MORE (88 COUNTS)

POLICE CHIEF ARRESTED FOR SELLING GUNS AND MORE

(88 COUNTS)


Police chief accused of stealing guns from evidence to sell, NC authorities say

The former police chief of Chadbourn, North Carolina, has been indicted on 88 felony counts, authorities said Friday.

William Anthony Spivey is accused of destroying evidence, embezzling state property, trafficking in opium, and obstructing justice, among other offenses, according to the Brunswick County District Attorney.

Prosecutors say Spivey stole guns from the department’s evidence lockup, and sold several to “friends, family members and acquaintances.”

Though some of the stolen guns have been recovered by authorities, many are still missing.

“To date, there remain a large number of unaccounted for firearms and we are asking for the public’s assistance,” the DA release said.

Spivey was arrested in mid-April by the State Bureau of Investigation, McClatchy News reported. The SBI began looking into the now-former chief on March 2, at the request of district attorney Jon David.


 


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THE MALE ONLY MONASTERY GETAWAY

THE MALE ONLY MONASTERY GETAWAY


Mount Athos in Greece is the ultimate male-only destination. More than 1,000 years ago Mount Athos has barred women – they are not allowed within 500m of the coast, and can only see Athos from the sea. The rules here are strict. Even pets and birds are only male.

The Mount, actually 335 sq km peninsula, is the largest area in the world from which women and female animals are banned.

Athos is different from other monasteries because the whole peninsula is regarded as one huge monastery.

THE HISTORY OF BANNING

The reason for this ban was to remove thoughts of temptation from the monks who are supposed to practice the strict self-denial of a hermit in an isolated mountain. This was the simplest way, he says, to ensure celibacy.

But there is other reason for banning women, connected with Orthodox tradition. According to tradition, the Virgin Mary and Saint John the Evangelist were on their way to Cyprus to visit their old pal Lazurus who had made the most of his second chance, when they ran into a storm that blew them way off course. They landed on the shores of the Athos Peninsula, and Mary was so overwhelmed by the beauty of her surroundings that she asked to give the mountain in her exclusive possession, even though its inhabitants were pagans. Since then, no woman can step on the slopes of the mountain. Only Virgin Mary’s Garden dedicated to her represents the feminity in Mount Athos. The legend is backed up by the decree of the President of Greece, according to which women face up to a year in prison for entering Athos.

This applies to both humans and domestic animals, except for cats. There are a lot of cats around and it’s probably a quite a good thing that there are because they are good mousers. Monks turn a blind eye to the fact that there are female cats.

DAWG SAYS: THE QUESTION IS WILL YOUR OTHER HALF ALLOW YOU TO GO?


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