SATIRE POST OF THE DAY: TOM CRUISE ALMOST BROKE

SATIRE POST OF THE DAY: TOM CRUISE ALMOST BROKE

Tom Cruise Makes Desperate Plea To Get People Back To Theaters: ‘I’m Down To My Last $100 Million’

Tom Cruise made a desperate plea to get fans back into movie theaters and end the Hollywood slowdown, telling fans he’s “almost destitute” and “down to his last $100 million.” This comes after the actor previously told fans to stay home, stay safe for the last 14 months.

“It’s time to make some changes now that this virus is starting to affect my lifestyle,” Cruise told reporters from the sun deck of his hover-yacht. “I’ve already furloughed a dozen servants. If this continues much longer, I may need to sell one of my private islands in Greece!”


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FEDS SEIZE $90k FROM MAN WHO SOLD FOOTAGE OF CAPITOL RIOT

FEDS SEIZE $90k FROM MAN WHO SOLD FOOTAGE OF CAPITOL RIOT


Police release tear gas into a crowd of pro-Trump protesters during clashes at a rally to contest the certification of the 2020 U.S. presidential election results by the U.S. Congress, at the U.S. Capitol Building in Washington, U.S, January 6, 2021.

U.S. authorities have confiscated roughly $90,000 from a Utah man who sold footage of a woman being fatally shot during the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol by supporters of former President Donald Trump, according to court filings.

Prosecutors also have filed additional criminal charges against the man, John Earle Sullivan, a self-described political activist who is accused of entering the Capitol building and participating in the riot, the filings unsealed on Thursday showed.

Sullivan now faces a total of eight criminal counts, including weapons charges, related to the riot. Sullivan’s lawyer did not immediately respond to a request for comment.


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EPSTEIN GUARDS MAKE DEAL TO AVOID JAIL

EPSTEIN GUARDS MAKE DEAL TO AVOID JAIL

Bureau of Prisons workers Tova Noel, right, and Michael Thomas were accused of sleeping and browsing the internet

Jeffrey Epstein prison guards admit to falsifying records, make deal to avoid jail time

The two Bureau of Prisons workers tasked with guarding Jeffrey Epstein the night he killed himself in a New York jail have admitted they falsified records, but they will skirt any time behind bars under a deal with federal prosecutors, authorities said Friday.

The prison workers, Tova Noel and Michael Thomas, were accused of sleeping and browsing the internet instead of monitoring Epstein the night he took his own life in August 2019.

They were charged with lying on prison records to make it seem as though they had made required checks on Epstein before he was found in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan on Aug. 10. New York City’s medical examiner ruled his death a suicide.

As part of the deal with prosecutors, Noel and Thomas will enter into a deferred prosecution agreement with the Justice Department and will serve no time behind bars, according to a letter from federal prosecutors that was filed in court papers Friday. They would instead be subjected to supervised release, would be required to complete 100 hours of community service and would be required to fully cooperate with an ongoing probe by the Justice Department’s inspector general, it says.


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LOVELAND OFFICERS CHARGE IN 73 YEAR OLD WOMANS ARREST

Charges filed against former Loveland officers involved in arrest of 73-year-old with dementia


The fallout continues in Loveland over the arrest of a 73-year-old woman with dementia. Police reform activists are responding to newly released video showing officers making light of the Garner’s injuries that her attorney alleges were sustained during the forceful arrest.

Multiple charges have been filed against two Loveland police officers involved in the arrest of a 73-year-old woman with dementia.

The charges were filed on Wednesday against Austin Hopp and Daria Jalali.

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Hopp is facing multiple felony charges related to felony assault, attempting to influence a public servant, and official misconduct.

Jalali is facing multiple misdemeanor charges related to peace officer failing to report use of force, peace officer failing to intervene, and official misconduct.


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