SATIRE POST OF THE DAY: TOM CRUISE ALMOST BROKE

Tom Cruise Makes Desperate Plea To Get People Back To Theaters: ‘I’m Down To My Last $100 Million’

Tom Cruise made a desperate plea to get fans back into movie theaters and end the Hollywood slowdown, telling fans he’s “almost destitute” and “down to his last $100 million.” This comes after the actor previously told fans to stay home, stay safe for the last 14 months.

“It’s time to make some changes now that this virus is starting to affect my lifestyle,” Cruise told reporters from the sun deck of his hover-yacht. “I’ve already furloughed a dozen servants. If this continues much longer, I may need to sell one of my private islands in Greece!”


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