DIPSHIDIOT STEALS MOON ROCKS FOR SIMULATED MOON SEX WITH SIDE CHICK
Guy steals $21 million of lunar rocks to have ‘sex on the moon’
We don’t know how we missed this story, but a few years ago, a NASA intern was convicted of moon rock theft—specifically, he stole moon rocks so he could have sex with his girlfriend on them.
Author Ben Mezrich, who also wrote The Accidental Network (which was turned into the movie The Social Network), recently published Sex on the Moon: The Amazing Story Behind the Most Audacious Heist in History and described the events of the book to CTV.
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In brief, a few years ago, Thad Roberts, who was in love with his girlfriend of three weeks, decided to show her a grand, romantic gesture by stealing moon rocks so they could jam the rocks under their motel room mattress and have sex on the moon. Because Roberts interned at NASA, he didn’t have to go far for his moon rocks … but he had to circumvent NASA’s security system, a heist worthy of Ocean’s 11.
Of course, things went wrong for our sexonaut when he decided to sell the moon rocks on the Internet.
“He really wasn’t a criminal,” said Mezrich. “He didn’t think through the after-effects. I asked him dozens of times over the year, ‘How did you think you were going to get away with this?’ And he said it just wasn’t part of the thought process. … He only thought of it as a college prank; he thought, ‘Even if I do get caught, what’s the worst they’ll do to me?”
What “they” did to him was send him to a federal prison for seven and a half years.
Mezrich makes us want to read the book for his descriptions of Roberts’ chutzpah. But let’s be honest … we also want to know what it was like to have sex on the moon.