Unemployment Up 800% Among Ethnic Mascots

The new unemployment numbers are out, and they’re pretty discouraging: among ethnic mascots of baseball teams and corporate brands, unemployment has skyrocketed 800% in the past year.

“These are troubling signs for the BIPOC mascot community,” said leading economist Dr. Matais Zendejas. “We had made so much progress, with mascots of all ethnicities being welcomed by the American public. But now it seems they are being fired at record rates, with the mascots and brand icons being replaced by genderless, white, inoffensive mascots, or else by nothing at all.”

“It’s really not a good time to be a mascot of color. The unemployment crisis is affecting mascots of color disproportionately. It’s racism, plain and simple.”

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