BabylonBee.com

Local construction worker and faithful husband Joseph Smithereen has recently placed sanctions on his wife of fifteen years after she invaded his side of the bed, again.

“That does it!” yelled Smothereen. “Despite my continual warnings, she has proceeded with a totally unprovoked take over of my side of the bed. Her actions have left me with no choice but to impose heavy sanctions.”

Martha Smithereen will reportedly have restricted access to the television, bathroom, and laundry machine. He has also worked with foreign allies to inhibit her ability to import foreign essential oil.

“If she relinquishes control of my side of the bed I will remove the sanctions immediately,” said Joseph. “But I will take any further incursion into my area as a clear sign of aggression.”


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