When something says

“Non-flammable” on it,

I take it as a personal challenge.

Nurse came in and said Doc,

there’s a man in the waiting room

who thinks he’s invisible,

what should I tell him?

The doctor said Tell him

I can’t see him today

When you are talking to yourself,

just remember 2 things

– you know you will always

get the right answer and

you are talking to

someone intelligent.

Society needs both optimists

and pessimists.

For example,

an optimist invented the airplane

while a pessimist

invented the parachute.

My teacher told me to solve the problem

on the board so I went up there,

erased it and said SOLVED!

What’s easy, doesn’t always last…

What lasts, isn’t always easy.

Somebody threw a Pepsi at me today.

It didn’t hurt.

Thank God it was a soft drink.